Darwin Blog

Saturday, 30 August, 2008, 11:56 pm
Filed under: Mind Your Manners Miranda

Sometime ago, The Godmother asked me to consider doing a post regarding RSVPing.

I now oblige.

The Godmother organisers a number of events each year, I a number of smaller social gatherings, but recently was involved in a major event which required RSVPs to a number of different functions over the one weekend.  I have always been frustrated with with people not RSVPing by the appropriate date, as has The Godmother.  I think one of the most annoying things, is that you know certain people will be attending and yet as the host you are forced to phone or email to get a response.

With anything I organise, there is always an element of food and/ or drinks.  I do not like to waste good food (or anything for this matter) when there are so many in this world with so little.  It is also the expense, which I am wearing and honestly, I don’t have a money tree out the back.  In addition, preparation of food and drinks also requires my time and a lot of effort.

I felt in this instance, invitations were sent early (four weeks in advance), as the Dry Season is a very busy time in Darwin, so there was plenty of time for planning.  And whilst many people replied quickly yes or no, there were a substantial number that I got the distinct feeling that they would hold off in case they got a better offer.  That in itself is bad form, for God’s sake just say yes or no!

All that was required of the invitee, was to call a mobile number on the invite and respond with a yes or no.  There was a messagebank service in case I wasn’t able to come to the phone.  Oh, there were also calls from people saying yes, they would love to accept, but just not sure if I will be able to get there on the day – are these people high!

I also had people who rang up and RSVPed despite never being asked in the first place – the cheek!

I did some searching about the protocols of RSVPing – I too wanted an update just in case times have changed I haven’t moved along with them.  It was once the case that it was accepted you were attending, unless you advised otherwise.  Unfortunately in this day and age and the lack of general manners in our society, details for an RSVP are included, usually with a date, because people are so bad at it.

There was a lot of information in books and on the internet about responding to wedding invitations, but not much about dinner parties, formal celebrations etc etc.

The ultimate no-no – saying that you will attend something and not show up at all.  Organisers know their invitation lists intimately.  Whilst you think you may not be noticed for not being there because it is a large gathering, do not be so naive.  It is always noticed, your host may be being polite is saying so, but let me assure you, your absence will be noted.

I guess my piece of advice is to be kind to your host/ hostess and when you receive an invitation in the mail, check the date you need to RSVP by, make a decision right there and then and respond as soon as possible – after all, the host was kind enough to think of you and invite to the do!


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

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I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to going over your web page for a second time.

Comment by Claude

How very true! I to am constantly perplexed by people’s attitudes today. My catch-cry is ‘UNcommon courtesy’.

I do enjoy the candor of your blog 🙂

Comment by Wen

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Comment by Laurinda

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